• When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
  • When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
  • When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
  • When my girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
  • When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
  • When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
  • When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
  • When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
  • When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
  • When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
  • When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
  • When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
  • When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
  • Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.




THIS MOVIE SO MANY FEELINGS WHY WOULD ANYONE PUT THEMSELVES THROUGH SUCH EMOTIONAL TRAUMA


freaking tamagotchi



  • me: hey i just met you
  • me: and this is crazy
  • me: but here's my number
  • me: so call me I̢̹̝̹ͭF̫͎͔͔̙͆̽ͣͪ͑͆͟ ̨̨͓̳̞̳̗̱̭̅ͤ͋̑̌͒̉͌͢Y̨̞̺͔ͪ̇͒̈͜O͙͚̦̽ͧͥ̑̚͡U̥̤͐̐̅ͣ́ ̶̢̟̤͇̯̤̳ͫͯ̈́̈́W͎̤̩̲̩͍͎̽͆͌ͬ̋̔I̜ͬ̆S̘̪̺͕̠̹̜̿̏ͭͫ͑H̴͎̤̲̼͚̰ͦ̄̐̃͐̒͡ ̧̌̎̆͛ͧͨ͑̚҉̴̫T̲͚̬̬͈͈͋ͣͮ̽̆̊Ơ̵̮͚̤̏̂̀̂͐̏͌ͩ̆ͅ ̴̮͚͇̥̎͆ͫ͘ͅL̥̱̳͕͔͊͗̅͋͘͡ͅǪ̖̟̗͓̙̳̺̿ͤ̈́ͭ́͟͟S̫̉́̂̈́̊̽ͨ͘͠E̢̩͉̺̍͋͋̒̅͆̚ ̣̳̍ͥ̂̀̇͌̈́ͯY̳̤̻̻͇ͭͥͦ̃ͧ͒̎O̶̪̞̍̎̉̓ͨ͂͊͘͜Ȗ̸̫͂̔ͦ͌͞Ȑ̰͕͚̺͓̩̠͉ͦ̒ͣ̒ ͙͈̟̏̈́͊͐̃̎̓̇ͥ́S̸̘͕̦͙̝̻̔͆ͮ͒̚͠Ȏ̷̤̙̰̫̦̄̕͢Ũ̉͐̒̈͏̡̖̦̠͍͍̳̬L̨̃̎͆̐͝҉̫̙̖̬͙̱̮̩,̡̣̮̜̦͓͓̹̩ͫ̌̇͑͊̑̄̚͟͠ ̸̨̱͔̪ͮ͆̐̏͂̐̒́̉̀F̓̓҉̲̩̘̗̘͈̜̰̜O͚̞̹̘͚̱͖̓ͧ͘O̵̺̪͚͇͗́ͧ͞L̖̠̮̼͙͕͍̭͙̒ͫ̌̎ͨͤ̾̚Ì̷̼͚̹̟̘̒͐ͩͦ͜S̶̢̼̤̬̳͈̭͆ͨͅH̛̲̬̳̝͓̩̱ͭ̈̍ͣ̃̚ ̢̺ͬ͒ͧM̧̧͕̭͓͍̳̙͉̿́́͛ͣͤ̕Ọ̸̱̤̬̟̯̇̄̈́̿͐̌͒R̸̴̬̂ͥͩ̂̏ͥ̏̂T̴̘̺̲͉̩̐̌̎̌̿͘̕A̔҉̶̠͈̜͉L̺̭͎̼̝͓͔̹̅̅ͪͤ̒̂̓̚̕͡
  •  Ｉ　ＷＡＳ　ＴＨＥ　ＤＡＲＫ　ＬＯＲＤ　ＳＡＴＡＮ　ＡＬＬ　ＡＬＯＮＧ